🥗 Sunday Scaries Meets Kale Regret: Dieting Into Another Week

It’s Sunday night. Your fridge contains a single bag of wilted spinach, three varieties of guilt, and half a protein shake you swore you'd finish yesterday. Outside, your neighbors are grilling ribs, the air smells like temptation, and all you’ve got is your own moral high ground and a cauliflower tortilla. Welcome back to Diet Week #362: The saga continues.

🧠 The Thought Spiral

You promised yourself you'd be “better” this week. More salads. Fewer fries. Less lying to MyFitnessPal. And yet, there you are—googling if hummus counts as a condiment or a lifestyle.

🏖️ Your Workout Plans (According to You)

• Monday: Sunrise yoga on the beach

• Tuesday: Light jog before work

• Wednesday: Pinterest-inspired smoothie and gratitude journaling

• Thursday: Unexplained leg soreness

• Friday: Emergency carb loading in case the weekend includes stairs

• Saturday: Rewatching people work out on TikTok

• Sunday: Emotional support watermelon

🥤 Nutrition Goals

This week, you're committed to eating clean! Until someone asks you to “define clean,” and suddenly you’re on the floor of Trader Joe's with a tortilla in one hand and existential dread in the other.

🏆 Weekly Wins

You drank 8 glasses of water (if you count iced coffee). You walked 10,000 steps (by pacing while trying to resist snacks). You resisted cake at a birthday party (but ate the decorative fruit with strategic aggression).

You’re doing great. Progress isn’t linear—it’s spiral-shaped, like the churros you didn’t eat. And even if your “meal prep” is just pretending not to see the frozen pizza, you’re showing up. That counts.

So take a deep breath, schedule your emotional breakdown for Thursday, and let’s spin the kale wheel of destiny one more time. 💪😄